I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
