man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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