So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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