We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
