glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
