Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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