DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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