the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
