He passed out mid-signature
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize