I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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