I just made out with a guy for $7.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
