Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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