don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
