in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Girls should come with a carfax report
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
