i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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