how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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