I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
