Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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