Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
