It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
