handjob tips. give me some.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
