went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
