Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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