Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
