All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
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so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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