So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
