Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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