I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
