she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
