i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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