Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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