Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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