thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
