Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
