i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
