He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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