I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
