I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
