i just google imaged poop.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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