I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
