White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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