He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
