so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
