Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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