I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
