Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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