Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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