I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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