she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
