shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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