I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
