If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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