My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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