so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
