So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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