just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
