they need to just BURY HIM!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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