I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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