she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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