Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
