glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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