Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.