do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already