so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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