I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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