So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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