Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
